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Dealing with Women
Getting the Respect You DeserveBy Brian Caniglia
Author of The DateSTACKER Program
Jun 4, 2005, 20:06
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If a woman does not respect you she CANNOT feel attracted to you.
Respect is the foundation of attraction... it is absolutely necessary.
Trying to "get" respect is difficult. In fact, the harder you try to GET respect the more it eludes you. It's one of those many things in life where the harder you try the more likely you are to fail.
That shouldn't be discouraging. There ARE things you can do to gain the respect and admiration of others. BUT, in order to do that, you can't concentrate on "getting respect." Rather, must you concentrate on the SOLUTION. Or, in other words, the root of the problem.
Here are three "solutions" for you to focus on:
1.) Be completely congruent...
People (especially women) have an intuitive sense of whether or not you are being genuine. In fact, studies have shown that even when people are *sure* that they fooled someone into believing something that wasn't true... they DIDN'T; the other person knew they were being deceitful. We are all human lie detectors, we can sense when what is going on inside doesn't match up with what someone is trying to portray on the outside. People don't like and/or respect false fronts and fakeness. Instead, they are drawn to and respect people that are genuine, comfortable, and confident in their own skin.
2.) Be "suave"...
HOW we do any given thing in life is sometimes more important than WHAT we do. Interacting with women is no exception. Your body language trumps what you say. It doesn't matter what witty, ultra-cool lines you manage to eek out during a date, if you are as tense as a coiled spring and sheepish when you say them she will still view you as a sheepish, nervous, easily-intimidated little weakling.
Suave (adj.) - Smoothly agreeable and courteous.
NOT "agreeable" as in being a "yes-man." Rather, I think what dictionary.com is trying to say here is agreeable as in pleasant. Have you ever been around a pleasant person? Have you ever been around a SMOOTHLY pleasant person? These are the people that men and woman alike BOTH seek out and admire. I'd pay attention to what that "suave" person you know is doing right so that you can figure out what you are doing wrong.
3.) Don't ignore your opinions...
Have you ever noticed how interesting opinions are? When two people are debating surrounding people perk up and pay attention. The good thing is you don't even need to be having a heated debate... just stating your opinion on a subject will have the same effect.
Why then do so many men hide their opinions from women? In fact, on a first date, a lot of men forget they even HAVE opinions. Guys think that if their opinion is conflicting a woman will like them less when it simply isn't true. People with viewpoints and opinions are people that THINK, people that have things to say, and people who voice a DIFFERING opinion are people with a backbone... all VERY attractive and respectable things.
Women want to respect you, don't make it hard for them.
Brian Caniglia
Author of The DateSTACKER Program
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