What creates value in our society? From an economic perspective, value is created by the law of supply and demand. When discussing the value of a person, does this hold true? What creates more value in your eyes for one person and less for another? The answer can be as complicated as the U.S. Treasury system or as simple as a penny. Different people value different things for different reasons. However, one of the most fundamental principles of value is the supply and demand of that commodity. And yes, this includes people.

You will find this obvious when you think about dating and seeking out new people to date. Have you ever noticed you tend to be attracted to those people who are already taken? Do you see yourself as a "geek magnet" while the guys you like don't give you the time of day? Have you ever been told that you try too hard? Are the good ones always taken? These examples illustrate the philosophy, "The more difficult to acquire, the more value is perceived."

It is in light of this principle that nice guys often get walked on. Many women perceive men who are too nice as being too easy. Therefore his value is diminished. Likewise, a woman who sleeps with a man on the first date is too easy and her value is decreased accordingly. (Of course, some men will sleep with her, they just won't call her the next day. Those kind of guys usually have a certain value predetermined for this type of woman anyway.)

How does this principle affect you when you are trying to find a new relationship? It took me many years to understand what my friends were trying to tell me when they exclaimed, "Bart, you can't go looking for a girlfriend. You're trying too hard." Being a self-starter, I assumed girlfriends were like commodities, if you want it, go out and get it. But I learned this is not the case. When you put a "FOR SALE" sign on a car, people immediately know that you don't want the car anymore. If you put an "available" sign on your forehead by aggressively seeking out a boyfriend or girlfriend, people often assume someone doesn't want you, therefore something must be wrong with you. (Is this convoluted logic? Maybe, but people think this way.) For this reason, when I used to chase girls, they always ran away.

One day I realized that the women I actually dated were women that I met without the pretense of getting romantic. In other words, I wasn't terribly interested in dating them when I met them. In fact, my attitude was, "I could take it or leave it. If she calls, great. If not, so what?" This may sound aloof, but it conveys...