meeting people

I'll bet the following statement is true for any guy reading this who doesn't do well with the ladies: You don't really understand what it is you're doing WRONG that makes you so unattractive to women... for the *exact same reason* that "Casanova" who scores left and right with them doesn't understand what he's doing RIGHT.

Huh? Read that again if you have to. Both YOU and Casanova are essentially clueless as to why you ended up the way that you are in terms of your skill levels (or lack there of) when it comes to charming women. Of course, Mr. Casanova isn't unhappy about his situation, right? But you sure are.

Theory Time: I believe that both sets of behaviors which lie at opposite ends of the spectrum are the result of accidents that occurred when you were both just beginning to notice girls in a different light (sexually)... sheer random incidents which involved elements of good or bad luck, and nothing more.

It went like this: YOUR first trial and error experiences occurred with a girl that simply DIDN'T LIKE YOU (probably because of personal issues that had nothing to do with you, but so what?) You thus ended up with a completely negative reinforcement of your early efforts at seduction and socialization. This awkward and possibly *shameful* first try at romance robbed you of the critical early confidence you needed to keep on experimenting and practicing your skills. It kicked off a descending spiral of inaccurate behaviors that led to more and more failures with women as time passed, further stunting your social development.

More failure resulted in a complete loss of confidence, growing ineptitude and a withdrawal from the game of flirting and even attempting to seduce women. Your behavioral changes might've progressed to episodes of delusional thinking, dark fantasies, etc. In other words, your *character* changed to make it even less likely that you could successfully interact with women, and voila'... a "nerd" was born.

Casanova, on the other hand -- due to simple GOOD fortune and nothing else -- may've tried the exact same moves during his adolescence just as you did, but HE happened to choose a girl that LIKED him, and therefore responded to his fumbling first efforts favorably. Get the picture?... a positive reaction to the exact same inept moves that you made! Merely because of random good luck, he happened to choose to work a girl who responded to him in an emotionally reinforcing way.

This "big break" (that you didn't get) gave Casanova confidence AND positive feedback -- which further provided a laboratory to fine tune his behaviors. Perhaps he even grew up in an environment that supported or encouraged those initial experimental behaviors -- a supportive older sister or a female friend that he could talk to in confidence whenever he needed advice....