Almost every DJ I talk to these days is crying about the girls. A buddy of mine is the head DJ at a very big club. I helped him get started almost 14 years ago. He works days and he has 60 to 100 girls on every shift, pockets two to four hundred a day in tips plus shift pay and a weekly bonus. By choice, he works four days a week rather than five.

And from talking to him, you'd think he was a coal miner or bussing tables at Denny's for four bucks an hour. "Bill, these f#$@ing girls are driving me nuts. I can't take it any more." Sound familiar? And, hey, I'm not just pointing fingers here, I've been guilty of it, too.

Whenever I go in to see my buddy at the club and hang in the booth, he's snapping at every girl that comes in the booth, he's doing the gig on autopilot, and he looks like someone that is trying to defuse a bomb rather than a guy that's making six figures with a four day workweek and some of the best looking co-workers on earth. He's the angriest, most stressed out guy in the club and then he wonders why his tips have gone down.

Sometimes, we need to kick back and take a look at the big picture here. Yeah, our job can seem pretty stressful at times but that's true for almost everyone. How'd you like to be selling used cars instead? Or flipping burgers? Or doing construction? I think I'd rather be in a nice air-conditioned club and walking out with a wad of cash every day.

I know that this gig can make you feel like your an air traffic controller at times but that's not the case. Nobody is going to die if you make a mistake.

Are dancers clueless at times? Yeah, but what else is new? Do yourself a favor and just accept the following about dancers:

• They will not know the name of the song they want to hear.
  
  
• They will be late for stage.
  
  
• They will complain that you played 'their' song for someone else.
  
  
• They will ask you a dozen times a night what time they're going up.... and they'll still be late for stage.
  
  
• They will leave the small stages before the other girl gets there to replace them.
  
  
• They will sit with a customer for two hours and without doing a table dance until it is time for them to go on stage. Then, they'll want you to skip them so they can do a table dance.
  
  
• They will sneak out without going on stage or tipping you.
  
  
• They will tell you they had a bad night and can't tip you while wearing a $200 outfit they bought at the boutique and while grinding their teeth together and wiping their runny nose.
  
  
• They will tell you to keep the lights low because "I look fat" even when they've got a perfect body and are a Penthouse Pet.
  
  

Do I need to go on? We all hear this stuff every day but you've just got to accept that this is what dancers are going to do. Now, does that mean you just let things go? No, I'm not saying that at all. The problems start when we start taking all this stuff personally.

When you start to think that all this is about you. That they are challenging your 'authority'. The truth is, it isn't about you at all.

The dancer wasn't late for stage because she wants to make you look bad. She's not coming up to the booth to ask a dozen questions to get in your way. She's probably just nervous or looking for an excuse to get away from the guy that's trying to feel her up at the table or she's just got a bad memory.

Dancers live in their own little world. Many of them don't really think that much about the people around them. They aren't sitting around the club wondering, 'What can I do to really screw up the DJ's night?' Yet, that's how we usually react to them. The key is to deal with the problem rationally and not act like the dancer's just insulted your mother. Maybe, she's insecure and self-centered. Maybe, she thinks she's a star. Just don't join her by acting the same way.

You'll just kill your tips, give yourself and ulcer and burn-out on the gig. Instead, take a few minutes in the car before you walk into the club at night to think about how sweet you've really got it.

Bottom line: It's all about attitude. You will never have 100% control of your dancers but you can always choose how you will react to a situation. Getting all wound up about it is only going to hurt you and your tips. The dancers may drive you crazy at times but without them, we don't make a dime.